Rhys “J” Southan: Open Christmas, 2006. DO NOT MAIL
Oct. 25, 1996
Dear Rhys (or whatever you have renamed yourself),
Welcome to the present. It is now the 21st century and I imagine gene splicing is running rampant. No matter, I hope you are now somewhat of an important presence in the field of film, or the futuristic equivalent of film.
Let me remind you of the incidents surrounding the time of this writing which is building up to your desired fate. It is now nearing election time and the real race is between Clinton and Dole. It looks undoubtable that Clinton will win, but you support neither. I support Mary Cal Hollis, the [Democratic] Socialist Party candidate. Obviously she doesn’t have a chance, but maybe in your time (if you opened this when you should have - Oct. 25, 2006), [Democratic] Socialism is the new government system in America, or at least the SP is more high profile.
Back to me, I am in my senior year at Berkner High, and have aspirations to become a screenwriter. I haven’t been to student-aiding Harry Preston for almost a year, but soon that will change with your work in progress. “Man Vs. Society: A Love Story” or “How to be Unpopular,” whichever title you stick with. I’m sure I would have gone by now if it wasn’t for working at the torture pit, Best Buy. My short term goal is to quit working there and start concentrating on my writings and my T-Shirt line, Trendy Sheepwear ©™®. Maybe you’re rich from the sale of T-shirts, and if you are, you better not have joined the ranks of those T-shirt makers you make fun of. If so, shame on you! Is that how I raised you? No.
Good.
Another aspiration I have for you is that you not get married. But if you must, it better be such an unexpected marriage as to get you on talk shows (If they still exist in this high-tech world of yours). As for having kids, it is your duty. I know you don’t want to but you must spread your golden DNA under any means possible, but if gene splicing really has taken the world by storm, people will be begging you to sell them your DNA pattern so they can fashion the rest of humans after you. I suggest you do it, but the only problem is that your goal to be unique would be shattered. Unless your near-clones would be so intent on being unique that they would rebel against themselves.
MM: [crossed out].
Just last night your Viewer’s Thumb was on Siskel & Ebert, and Siskel seemed to agree with you more. Harry Preston just called and my interview about movies was played on Sunday. Hopefully at this point in your life you’re actually involved in the making of movies rather than just the critiquing of them.
What else? You be the judge.
Sincerely,
Rhys Southan
